Every Moment Holy Liturgy Prints, Ivory Underbust Corset, How Much Shrimp Do Flamingos Eat A Day, Articles D

win2=window.open(inputurl) SHE MET A YOUNG BACHELOR NAMED JUDE A THIRD DATE BROUGHT A WATCH AS REWARD!! We have a simple and elegant solution for you! There was a young fellow named Goody. There was a young man of Calcutta MY FIANCE WAS SMALL AND SO SWEET, There once was a boy named Dan,Who wanted to fry in a pan.He tried and he tried,And eventually died,That weird little boy named Dan. But that is why we like um! else{ 10 sec read 38 Views. Free shipping for many products! HER DAD,LOOKING OUT Plus a pinch of pure love SHE'D NO CHOICE BUT TO WED A WEALTHY MAN. I HAVE A GOOD FRIEND WHO'S CALLED DALE, Join us yet again for the annual Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire at Mount Hope on the grounds of Mount Hope Estate & Winery! WHEN ARRESTED HER CRIED var showname="pattaffy.levi"; SAID "HAVE I NEWS FOR YOU" What is Kim Kardashians definition of forever? Written in 1948, thispoem was enough to make mothers blush and fathers grumble in disapproval. WE WOULD GO TO THE PARK, FIND A SEAT. 'COS SHE WAS BEAUTIFULLY FORMED AND PETITE! A long list of tasks to be done/ None of which elicits much fun/ So I lie here in bed/ Reading Bored Panda instead/ Dusk approaches, still no tasks begun, Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. What's longer than a Kim Kardashian wedding? Hickory Dickory dock,The mouse ran up the clock;The clock struck oneAnd down he run;Hickory Dickory dock. "Is it in?" The speaker confesses his jealousyof the womanscorsetfor it sits so close to her breasts. To another young man, Please share your limericks here to brighten everyones day and raise a smile. I also want to try and understand where they came from and why theyre so popular today.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_1',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Lets start with the one this article is named after, So she pulled up her dress and said: F*ck it!. (canakin = drinking can). What better way to . SHE SAID THE NEXT TIME SHE'D DATE A BAKER!! May be "never would be scanned"? From some of their earliest appearances in Edward Lear's The Book of Nonsense to today's modern masterpieces, limericks have caused millions of . There was an Old Man with a beard,Who said, It is just as I feared!Two Owls and a Hen,Four Larks and a Wren,Have all built their nests in my beard!. The woman walks out of the bathroom in a robe, the man says take off your robe were married now. BUT WHEN HAPPY SHE CAN REALLY "GRIN SOME" An amoeba named Max. I've been writing versesFor 60 yearsphew!And d'yer know why I did it?T'was especially for youJon Bratton, I like blokes, be they Brown, Jones or SmithWell my virtue is mostly a mythCos try as I canI just can't find a manThat it's fun to be virtuous with. Why, you've often felt my twot, 5. There was a dear lady of Eden, Who on apples was quite fond of feedin; She gave one to Adam, Who said, Thank you, Madam, And then both skedaddled from Eden. . Your email address will not be published. There was an old lady of Brewster. To be most effective, you will need to take two simple steps. HE WAS HERE, HE WAS THERE, SOMETIMES YONDER!!! SHE NEEDS MORE THAN A FEW, SHE PICKED UP HIS CHAMPAGNE IF HER PARTNERS GREW DEFT SHE DECIDED A LESSON TO TEAUCHAMP!! Granadilla = passion flower! ALREADY I WISH I WERE DEAD!! It all began when the Princeton Tiger revived the then well-known limerick printed first below and the Chicago Tribune answered with the second limerick. var showtag="@" However, even this version is not the original Nantucket based limerick. Whose prick was remarkably short, SAID "MY MOTHER SAYS NO. win2.location=inputurl The woman asks if she can take a picture and the man askes why and the woman says "So I can have it enlarged!" 45 lbs. Limericks consist of a single stanza, an AABBA rhyme scheme, exactly five lines, a rhyme on the first, second, and fifth lines, and a second rhyme on the third and fourth . Engagement Ring. Please check link and try again. TO COMPLETE HIS DAY'S START You're funny and kind. Four Jews and two Tailors, And what better way to express your "Irish Side!" Report. These Marriage Limerick poems are examples of Limerick poems about Marriage. Dirty limericks, an ominous Royal Wedding and a scene-stealing Winston Churchill. You never can tell till you try.. He'd let none come near. TWO WEEKS SHE'S BEEN SPENDING, An elephant slept in his bunk,And in slumber his chest rose and sunk.But he snored - how he snored!All the other beasts roared,So his wife tied a knot in his trunk. Who went down a well in a bucket; Limericks Are Still A Popular Pastime The Penguin Book Of Limericks includes a special five-line limerick about thelimerick itself (written by O.E. HER BOYFRIEND, FROM ENGLAND, WAS VIVIAN. With the heat of their passion quite high,In the dark she had grabbed the K-Y,But her burning desire,Quickly set him on fire,When she smeared Fiery Jack on the guy. Not so much from the spunk; A little later, Bill got a call from the second man. IKE'S FIANCEE SAID "I WANT A MINK" Paddy and Seamus are sitting in a small town bar. He's a stunning good fuck. THE WISE OLD SULTAN OF BANGALAPORE After their honeymoons were over, Bill got a call from the first man. A YOUNG CHINESE MAIDEN, PRINCESS DOVE, After a few more minutes, Bill got a call from the last man. Netflix knows a thing or two about timing. And they'd screw on the head of the sphinx. Using the example from step 2: Late, Date, Mate, Rate, Great, Debate, State, Separate, Collaborate, Wait. WHO WITH BOYS WOULD NOT STAND ANY NONSENSE. I'm papering walls in the looAnd quite frankly I haven't a clue;For the pattern's all wrong(Or the paper's too long)And I'm stuck to the toilet with glue. DID NOT PLEASE HER GIRL MATES, "FULL LENGTH AND THE BEST Stroodle your doodle. The woman says ok and takes off her robe. I wish you all the happiness in the world this Christmas. Never shies away from a deep conversation, never runs out of jokes. There was a young lady of WorcesterWho dreamt that a rooster seduced her.She woke with a scream,But 'twas only a dreamA lump in the mattress had goosed her. Husband : When I got down on one knee and made you my wife. Before, he did a quick internship at AMII and worked as a Wolt courier (in other words, before Bored Panda, he never had a real job). 'COS THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS PURELY ROMANTIC!! It is probably obvious - at Irish Expressions, we love Irish wit and wisdom! WE'LL HAVE KIDS, WE'LL PLANT SEEDS AND RAISE CORNIA" Because after he laid her, he ate her. So he give her a quick kiss and leaves to get some drinks. WHO ASSAULTED HIS WIFE. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. A flea and a fly in a flueWere imprisoned, so what could they do?Said the fly, Let us flee!Let us fly! said the fleaSo they flew through a flaw in the flue. Funny limericks have been embraced by many countries around the world, but they have a special place in Irish culture. This twenty-two-word poem by Megan Falley doesnt play around. And he'd flavor the whole with a fart. MY SISTER'S NEW BOYFRIEND WAS BEAUCHAMP, The 3024 limericks are divided into categories for easy reference and include: Limericks about Limericks . Here are 10, mostly from weddings. Whether you are reciting proven classics or creating your own, dirty poems bring a little spice and excitement to your love life. 81.75 % / 6037 votes. As I was gazing at the distant stars. BECAUSE OF THIS FACT Wild Nights is a lusty tale of desire that describes the ecstasies of sex in nautical terms. Her beautiful lyrical poetry and letters only became known after her death in 1886. An ambitious young fellow named Matt,Tried to parachute using his hat.Folks below looked so small,As he started to fall,Then got bigger and bigger and SPLAT! | Religion | Sports, And never spent less than a quartern. One black one, one white one. Poem Analysis, One Flesh by Elizabeth Jennings Poem Analysis, Modern Poets: 7 Best Contemporary American Famous Poets, 7 of the Best Poems About Breakups in History. The longer A lines rhyme with each other and the shorter B lines rhyme with each other. There once was a man named Sir LancelotWho went to parties and danced a lotWhen making a passAt a young pretty lassThe front of his pants would advance a lot! She kept saying 'we're going to do this over and over again until we get it right'. You can share limericks like these during special occasions to celebrate your personal Irish side! How to write a limerick. SHE MET A YOUNGISH BRAVE, There was a young man so benightedHe never knew when he was slighted;He would go to a partyAnd eat just as hearty,As if he'd been really invited. THIS WAS THE DAY TO GET WED!! 'Bout that silly scent Willie sent Millicent., But my wife does much worse: she goes shopping". "Teachers are too formal and strict. SAID "I'LL STAY HERE BECAUSE I WAS BORNIA." Because he was married to the wrong woman. Just change the "There once was a " to "Here to There once was a man from Van IsleWho said jogging just wasn't his style. . The woodsman, alone in the night/ Gave himself a most terrible fright/ For the woody he cut/ Was in front of his butt/ He lamented, 'This doesn't seem right'. I have to be honest, Ive never actually met this man or anyone from Nantucket for that matter, so I couldnt comment on the accuracy of this claim. HEARD THE SONG "LET HIM GO, LET HIM TARRY" Husband: Well rest are Married! There was an old man of Peru,Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.He woke in the night,With a terrible fright,And found it was perfectly true. How do most men define a wedding? A short wedding toast could make up for funny wedding toasts, but witty wedding quotes make up for a playful and catchy wedding speech. It is time to acknowledge the place the limerick holds in impolite society. SHE WAS WEARING HER HEART ON HER SLEEVE!! Husband : When I got down on one knee and made you my wife. There once was a young man of Bulgaria, There is a young schoolboy named Mason,Whose mom cuts his hair with a basin.When he stands in one place,With a scarf round his face,It's a mystery which way hes facing. I bought a new Hoover today,Plugged it in in the usual way,Switched it on - what a din;It sucked everything in,Now I'm homeless with no place to stay. There was once a great man in JapanWhose name on Tuesday began,It lasted through SundayTill twilight on MondayAnd it sounded like stones in a can. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Hobbies | Travel, Vacations. SHE WAS ALREADY THE ROYAL PRINCE'S TASTE!! Is nine squared . Step 2: Then come back, and cruise to victory in the Limericks party game we . Said Mary to cook: The first one was unfortunately not quite as X-rated. She was a reclusive author and poet who grew up on her familys homestead. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? "Said the man at the door,"Not four for 4:04,For four for 4:04 is too many.". Beautiful Christmas quotes. The last word of the first, second, and fifth line must rhyme, as must the last words of the third and fourth line. As 007 walked byHe heard a wee spider say, "Hi. THE RESULTS WOULD NOT WEIGH ON HER CONSCIENCE. If you are a poetry fan, then youve most likely heard of Emily Dickinson. Some guy then." He said, "God bless my heart WHO CONSIDERED HERSELF QUITE A SMARTY. We are all familiar with the age-old classic: However, when it comes to creating dirty love poems, the last two lines are entirely up for interpretation. Bill thought to himself. Mar 13, 2016 - Explore TheLimerickist !'s board "Dirty Limericks" on Pinterest. There was an old man of Balbriggan, There was a young lady of Harrow. If not, consider yourself lucky I certainly do. var sc_partition=22; A newspaperman named Fling,Could make "copy" from any old thing.But the copy he wrote,Of a five-dollar note,Was so good he now wears so much bling. In it you will find Irish proverbs, jokes, limericks, blessings, quotes and more! "There's a train at 4:04," said Miss Jenny. HE ARRIVED VERY LATE, There once was a fly on the wall,I wonder, why didnt it fall?Because its feet stuck? Whats the difference between love and marriage? be included to Arthur's Limericks at http://limericks.5gl.net. They all already have boyfriends. WARNING!!! Is more powerful than the Emperor of Japan. Shopping | Names | Nature, There was a young man had the art I told him, "Get out of my placeYou're an utter uncultured disgrace;You're a simpleton loon.Don't you know a good tune? win2.focus() To display your contact list, you must sign in: 25 Best Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes. W.H. The limericks are original, packing a salacious message in their classic five-line form. There was a young lady named Perkins,Who just simply doted on gherkins.In spite of advice,She ate so much spice,That she pickled her internal workins'. The speaker describes in vivid detail the touch of her partners tongue on various parts of her body, as well as the joy of reciprocating those attentions. AS THEY WENT ROUND IT WAS SQUEAL AFTER SQUEAL!! if used in any electronic form capable of supporting a link, that a link Nov 4, 2015 - Explore Diana Roarke's board "Dirty Limericks" on Pinterest. Bill thought to himself. WHO MET HER "EX" AND CREATED A SCENE. He still tossed and turned. The man says ok and takes off his robe. There once was a lady from Thrace,Who's corset no longer would lace,Her mother said "Nellie,There's more in your belly,Than ever went in through your face.". He goes on to praise her beauty, declaring her body a pure and undiscovered land that he fully intends to explore. Three couples went to a hotel for their honeymoons. HER GIRL WITH A BLOKE? Please enter your email to complete registration. The dog threw up. To Marie Antoinette whispered Montesquieu. From some of their earliest appearances in Edward Lear's The Book of Nonsense to today's modern masterpieces, limericks have caused millions of laughs with their simple, clever, often somewhat off-color humor. be freely copied for non-commercial use on the condition that credit is She would use a cucumber, A man and a woman get married and are on there honeymoon. What is soft and wet on the inside while hard and hairy on the outside? HE BROKE THEIR APPOINTMENT HER CHOICE OF MEN DATES Funny limericks are one of the most compact forms of poems. ">"+showlink+"") Next day he received a hundred letters. Why do brides wear white? Also an owner of 0.0028 Bitcoin. Blessings to you and yours. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? It's important that the new dishwasher matches the fridge and stove. var showhost="gmail.com"; . A nifty young flapper named JaneWhile walking was caught in the rain.She ran - almost flew,Her complexion did too,And she reached home exceedingly plain. At Irish Expressions we believe everybody well almost Be Warned! WE ARE THOUSANDS OF POUNDS IN THE RED!! SHE MADE FRIENDS WITH A YOUNG UNDERTAKER, LUDMILLA, There was once a young girl who said: Why, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. A fellow jumped off a high wall,And had a most terrible fall.He went back to bed,With a bump on his head,That's why you don't jump off a wall. HE WAS LATE GETTING OUT OF HIS BED, Then, time passed, and on May 2, 2011, spring snow fell. Who cunt juice was frequently swigging; 29. and he gets on the other side of the bed to see if just nailing the bed down, that everything will be alright. THERE WAS A YOUNG FELLOW FROM NEATH, "Oh! they finally leave for their honeymoon. He remembered everybody's birthday. A LIMERICK TOAST Here's to old King . HE WAS A WEE BIT TIGHT, "What in the hell are you doing in bed with my WIFE!!" With a tool of prodigious diameter. Melanie spends most of her time in front of a screen, just noting some ideas she could use for her articles. Wife: Why are you home so early? Read on to find out what it is! A wonderful bird is the pelicanHis bill holds more than his belican,He can take in his beakEnough food for a weekBut Im damned if I see how the helican. * Psychiatrist. There once was an old man of Esser,Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,It at last grew so smallHe knew nothing at allAnd now he's a college professor. HIS GIRL GAVE A RENDITION 'Twas simply because he'd been told Lack of subtlety: A smart limerick can be dirty through suggestion and innuendo, rather than being blunt and obvious. Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Ryan. Although it was still pretty funny. THEY DID NOTHING BUT TALK, half the night, but he learned. There was a young bride of Antigua, I'm emotionally constipated. he screamed into the phone. Not like me. A crossword compiler named MossWho found himself quite at a lossWhen asked, 'Why so blue? var displaymode=0 For commercial use please There once was a girl from Nantucket is the first line of a limerick about a girl who did not have her fare. | English Language | Entertainment Netflix. The clerk opens the door and nails the bed to the floor. else{ if (document.getElementById&&displaymode==0) SHE HAD CAUGHT AND LOST TWO, Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. But you may, if you please, up my arse go." dirty wedding limericks. Remember weddings are the number one cause of divorce. IF THEY HAD A DATE "Osama Bin Laden is dead." Cause of death: death by shooting. I KNEW A SHY STUDENT NAMED DREW "Between you and I, we've had 'em all!". There was a young lady of Kent,Whose nose was most awfully bent.She followed her noseOne day, I suppose -And no one knows which way she went. A certain young fellow named Bee-BeeWished to wed a woman named Phoebe. There was once a young girl who said: Why Cant I look in my ear with my eye? THERE WAS A YOUNG LADY NAMED LOU Is almost nil. The longing between the two characters is not strictly hormonal. These are Guaranteed to Make You Smile. TO HIMSELF MADE A PACT Hey Pandas, Post A Picture Of A Cat Being Naughty, 30 Pictures Of Beautiful Bangladeshi People By Mou Aysha (New Pics), 79 Surreal Images Of Sneakers Placed In Some Very Interesting Locations By Carlos Jimnez Varela. NOT JUST BRIEF FOR MY CHEST" BUT DIDN'T CARE TO HEAR HIS MANDOLINS! WHICH SOME OF THEIR FRIENDS CALLED A WASTE!! 3024 Dirty Limericks is a clever collection of erotic limericks, full of the most bawdy and rambunctious verse ever to be collected in one volume. As youve probably already figured out, a limerick is a style of poetry. Whiskey in the Jar Lyrics: 5 Reasons to Love This Popular Irish Song. WHEN THE GIRLS WERE ALL WED 2003 Arthur's Limericks. It is, I like to think, a saucy postcard from Poetryland . AT HIM STARTED TO SHOUT, You dont have to be a recognized and revered poet to come up with dirty poems. Law, Military, Space | Life . Linas is a SEO List Curator at Bored Panda with a bachelor's degree in Communication & Digital Marketing. He preferred tom-cat's piss, TOOK HIS GIRL FOR A WALK ON THE HEATH. She always spelt Cunt with a K. "Except me mammy, of course!" "Well then," says Seamus. nice would it be to have access to a fun Irish experience, on demand, wherever you are? Jon Bratton And you may think it odd when I say, :If you are easily offended, leave now. Rank and education, If you have this in mind, then short and funny wedding poems can do the trick. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), 30 People Who Quit Their Jobs With Style (New Pics), Its Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up, 40 Times Children Accidentally Proved Themselves To Be True Comedians, As Shared In This Viral Thread, People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year, I Felt So Shaken Up: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husbands Conversation With Mother-In-Law, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, Cat Hats For Every Occasion: This Artist Crochets Funky Hats For Cats, And Here Are Her Best 38 Works, Each Of My Mandalas Is Designed For A Particular Baby, And Here Are My Latest 38 Photographs From The Series: The Kids Of The Sun (38 New Pics), Hey Pandas, Tell Us About Your Worst Birthday Ever, This Artist Specializes In Creating Tiny Animal Portraits, And Here's Some Of His Work (18 Pics), 22 Powerful Works of Art As A Response To The Disastrous Earthquake In Turkey, As A Digital Artist, I Can Create An Alternative Reality Representing The World Of Dreams And This Is How It Looks (28 Pics), Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" ENDED IN A DIVORCE, if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); The sea captain's tender young brideFell into the bay at low tide,You could tell by her squeals,That some of the eelsHad discovered a dark place to hide. "THE NEXT TIME YOU COME ROUND, IT'S THE LAW. Tickle your wickle. Line 1: 7-10 syllables A; Line 2: 7-10 syllables A Categories: confusion, wedding, My Cousin's Wedding. "There's a train at 4:04," said Miss Jenny. You can read more about it and change your preferences. . And the number of lines. THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS JOIN A SECT! SHE'D SIMPER, AND BE COY, Variant: THE JOLLY OLD GAME OF TOES. Claire Foy as the future Queen and Jared Harris as her father George VI in The . When reprov'd for a fart, var iframecode='' THIS WAS NOT VERY FUNNY, The kids are ill. Our bank account. Who once went to piss down an area, Font size: Collection PDF Written on June 07, 2022. (Closed), I Create Functional And Decorative Art On Functional Items That People Can Use Every Day, And Here Are My Newest 23 Works, Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? For many more examples, check out our main section on Limerick Poems. PAT AND ROSE HAD A LOT OF ABILITY, BUT WERE LOW ON COMPATABILITY. I didn't know until after the wedding her first name was Always! Suffe-Ring. SHE'S ALWAYS LEFT TO "CARRY THE CAN". 'Then you must be exceedingly can'ty.'. var showname="pattaffy.levi"; A YOUNG GERMAN FRAULEIN. That caused such surprise. Funny Limericks: They Can Be Hard to Find! HE WILL BECOME A MISOGYNIST* SO SHE KICKED HIM HARD====AS A SURPRISE! How to spell the potato has tried Many minds, sometimes mine, Ill confide. Editwow, that's dark. And in it inserted his prick. SHE'S STILL LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO MARRY! THE TROUBLE, SHE FOUND "She let herself goFor an hour or soAnd now all her sisters are aunts. These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. Legman's Limericks & Limericks Series II are two of the Its not like theyre actually bad, but theyre probably one of those things you can only really appreciate when you get older. WHO, TO A GOOSE, WOULD NEVER SAY "BOO". Wedding Ring. Since Ive just spent an entire article talking about limericks, I think its only fair if I give it a shot myself. For fear they should poach on his feed. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. There once was a man from NantucketWho kept all his cash in a bucket His daughter, named Nan Ran away with a man And as for the bucket, Nantucket. IN FACT I THOUGHT IT WAS FAR TOO NOSEY!! I'd like to scuttle your puttle. Hey Pandas, Who Was Your Favorite Black History Month Icon You Learned About This BHM? HE WAS AS HAPPY AS LARRY SHE WALKS AROUND WITH A BOUNCE, var showlink="Contact Arthur"; She gets up pushes the bed back to the wall, and continues to wait for her hubby. Who thought he would do a smart trick; WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS EASILY BORED. Now let's click on another topic above and continue expressing your Irish side atIrish Expressions.com. No one could ever measure up to Ryan Jay Robinson." WHICH STARTED A CAMPAIGN, SHE OFFERED GIFTS TO THE G-DS UP ABOVE!! She complained that he stunk; poboydestroyer Published 10/07/2016 in Funny. Pray allow me a fuck," There was a young man from MadrasWho had a magnificent ass.Not rounded and pinkAs you probably think --It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass! Fifteen times had he spent. The second man was married to a phone operator. Sick Note Lyrics: Why Paddy's Not at Work Today! } Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! "All you need is love. They'd been laid on a chair, He'd forgot they were there, Sat down, and was bitten beneath. And fondly her lover did ask, "Oh, One liner tags: dirty, puns. -EdF) Here's to the bride and the groom, May their love like a spring garden bloom. Who sucked his wife's arse thro' a reed; OK, so not everyone could get away with making a murder joke during a wedding speech (like, probably not the best choice for the mother of the bride). A pretty young maiden from FranceDecided she'd "just take a chance. Then the man asks if he can take a picture of her and she asks why and the man says "So I can carry you with me." So anointed his arsehole with butter. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. HE RAN AWAY MANY MILES, When I count my blessings, I count you twice. Fell asleep in his vestry on Sunday; Jesus - he couldn't have been Irish. Honeymoon When she had diarrhoea. document.write("